Care Enough to Send the Very Best (Emails)

Raise your hand if you have hastily cranked out an email and hit that send button only to realize, “Gosh, I probably shouldn’t have done that!” or shot off a quick response while trying to multi-task.

Is your hand up?  Yep. So is mine. 

Emailing is easy and convenient but, without face-to-face verbal tones and expressions, it’s super easy for emails to be misinterpreted. Our buttons get pushed, or we’re in such a hurry, that, away we go, making a real donkey out of ourselves with our insensitivity.  We must consider the impact we have on others when communicating through emails. The people we email – and message – deserve our full attention, right?  

Enter: Emotional Intelligence.

What does it mean to be ‘Emotionally Intelligent’? Good question! It’s the art of being able to identify and manage your emotions as well as the emotions of others. People with emotional intelligence don’t let their mood control their behaviors in a way that will negatively impact the people around them.

Part of practicing emotional intelligence when we’re communicating through email or chat is considering how others might react and understanding that not everyone will respond in the same way. This may mean taking extra care to tailor the message to the individual or realizing we may not know someone well enough to predict how they’ll react. Careful, considerate, and emotionally intelligent communication is important to maintain great relationships.  

Follow these Seven steps to sending emotionally intelligent emails. Your teammates will appreciate it!

1. Check in with yourself!  Identify your current state – your mood - because it will reflect in the emails you write. Do you need to adjust your mood?  Allow yourself a few moments to relax. Concentrate on your breathing, get up and stretch, go for a little walk, watch a couple of funny cat videos, just do something to adjust a ‘not-so-good’ mood before you start writing.  Smile while you type, it really helps!
2. Fill in the subject line. Your receiver will prioritize the messages they get by their subject lines.  Good subject lines don’t get overlooked. 
3. Begin with a warm greeting.  Always. And make the greeting about the recipient. For example, “Good Morning Karen.  I hope your weekend was a fun one!”.  Sure, maybe you really want to talk about your weekend, but don’t.  This is a chance for you to ask them about them! My father always said, “make the conversation about the other person; always.”  He was a very smart man. 
4. State your purpose. Otherwise known as the body of the email. Make your intention clear early on then move into the main text of your email.  Some people will skim an email to find the point and then move on if they can’t find one. Make your purpose, the body, clear and concise.
5. Add closing remarks. This is another chance to connect with your teammate, thank them, or offer your help. Some examples include: “Thank you for your time and consideration,” or “If you have any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to let me know.” 
6. End with a closing.  There are a lot of options, so choose the one that best fits your personality. Such as: “Thank You,” “Best Regards,” “Best wishes,” or simply “Cheers!”  
7. Proofread the email. Sending an email before proofreading is like walking into a party and suddenly realizing you forgot to wear pants. Oops! Proofreading is a must. We can be blind to our mistakes and bad grammar.  Once you’ve proofread for spelling and grammar, check the tone.  This is how the recipient may interpret the email.  Is the email sounding bossy, demanding, or intimidating?  If the email isn’t confidential, you can also ask a teammate for their honest opinion on your ‘email-tone-of-voice.’

Moral of the story:  Don’t be a donkey!  Don’t let your moods impact others negatively, whether you’re face-to-face or electronically communicating. It makes for a happier team and workplace!

Wow! Look at you, reading this article to the very end!  Thank you so much! Now get busy – crank out those emotionally intelligent emails!

Cheers!